the lastsplash

It hurt when someone commented I should let the mother handle the crying baby.  Being proud that I am a hands-on Dad and make good logical decision most of the time, that hurt my pride. Why would I not handle my children as well or even better? If the father is always there for the children, the bond with his children is never less than that of the mother's. Of course, there is no shame in letting the mother share the burden. But it is hurtful to say I can't do it.

In "Resolutions 2013", I mentioned I posted thrice in 2012. Well, in 2013, I posted once - progress! Can shut down this blog lah ... hahaha ... Nevertheless, I think I should review the year and set my resolutions, although it is already half a month into January. Why? Well, lists are very useful for remembering things, especially for old people like me. Although there were few posts, twenty-thirteen was not short of ups and downs. Not in any particular order or preference... The downs : car accident, one pathetic blog entry and... The ups : became a father again (arrival of my darling Nathaniel  - gift of God), visited Göteborg , Stockholm and Paris again, spent lotsa fantastic time with my family, pushed for Scrum, clocked one more in-camp training and got to know some fun people along the way! That's a short list... You see, I can't really remember what happened and a check on my Facebook time-line revealed mostly happy occasions and photos of my sons. ...

In 2012, I posted only thrice (excluding this) and one of them was "Resolutions for 2012". While posts have been few and far between, 2012 was a really significant year. It is tradition for me to review of the year: Bertrand turned two. The terrible two? Hardly. He is our love, joy and pride. Our lives are centred around his growth, progress and learning. Our happiness stems from his adorable smiles, creative dance and conversations. He speaks  cheem stuff for a two-year-old. But it can be quite embarrassing when he describes everything he sees. Imagine him saying, "Daddy put-put (farted)". Luckily he didn't say that in public. And one time, he said loudly when he saw our neighbour in his flat, "uncle bo cheng sa" (topless). He loves music. Any melody can set him dancing. He hums to tunes like  Barbra Streisand and We Are Young . He wants to listen to Halls of the Mountain King on youTube. He tries to play instruments, from the drum, th...

While my one-year-old is going for his first steps, I am also learning to walk (again). 2011 was full of ups and downs.  I was promoted for the 2nd time in my first job. Not fantastic but not bad either after six years. The challenging issues justifies for the few more dollars increment to the stipend. Murphy is my good friend. With only the final milestone left, I hope to overcome all odds and pull the rabbit outta the hat in 2012! If I am lucky, I may run another project.  For the consecutive year, I expended all my medical leave. After hearing my story, some may say 父爱是伟大的. Some may think I was pure clumsy. As my son likes to watch basketball playing, I decided to show him how to do it myself. At first I felt good, I got it plenty of shots. Unfortunately, I broke my ACL while chasing after the ball. It has been two months and my knee is still weak and hurts occasionally. I plan to go for surgery in 2012, while performing the balancing act of pulling the rabbit and recup...

As the year draws to an end next week, it is a good time to do the customary stocktake of the significant events in the past year, and set my aspirations for the next. 1. Record number of sick days. - The sicky bugs were sticky this year. It is either coincidental or a self-fulfilling prophecy, that the geomancer had predicted a sicky year for people with my zodiac sign. I expended all, and had to utilize the extended medical leaves. At thirty, I had my first case of chicken pox infection, and food poisoning. For the coming year: I would like to stay healthy! Hope that the "first" cases were also the "last". 2. Obtaining the VCP. - After attending the official course conducted by VMWare, I decided not to let it go to waste and took the certification exam. With that, I am on track with my personal development. So far, obtaining masters and SCJP were purely for self satisfaction - not really recognised in my current job. Hopefully, they will be put to good use soo...

Oops! It's already 2010 and I have yet penned down my resolutions! No more basking in "achievements" like last year... Let me get right on to the serious things. First up, the critical review of Resolution 2009 : 1. Doing better at work. - It had been far from smooth sailing. After more than two years working on tree variations of the same project, I am hoping for a change soon. But all is not that bad. I went for a developer's conference in Palm Spring, and somehow managed to balance the wedding preparations and the two horrible deployments. Had I done better in my job? I guess it is hard to tell as the bar is raised every year. Considering the economic turmoil of 2009, I oughta be grateful that I'm still holding a job. 2. Passing my Driving Test. - I did it! I did it! I achieved it on the first try, within my target of April. Unfortunately I have yet taken to the road since then. Anyone willing to lend his/her for a joyride? ;-p 3. Taking our friendship to the...

It is just not the same anymore. I miss it all...

I think now, I know a little bit of how mothers feel... I lose patience at my mum because I think she states the obvious aka nagging... I blurt out for her for saying things that imply I ain't capable of taking care of myself. The bottomline for all these seemingly ungrateful behaviour is that I hate to see her worrying for me unnecessarily. Tho' I rarely make effort to communicate that. But mothers being mothers do it unconditionally, and never give up. I am so dear to her. Well... I ain't quite "motherly-material". Sometimes I unknowingly play the role of "mother" in someone else's life. You may ask, "Why do you want to be somebody's mother?" It is really just an analogy and a natural thing to do when they are kind of precious (or dear) to me... When that happens, every day is a challenge and it isn't easy not to give up. Perhaps some fathers do all that as well?

Because... I talked too much. Some things are better not said, especially when I ain't quite sure what kind of reaction to expect. And the worst of all, would be no reaction at all. (Yes, I expected something, good, bad, anything!) Regardless how dear the thoughts or feelings may mean to me, they often mean otherwise in the eyes of someone else. Neither is is very right to draw my own conclusions for the no-show... it is often as negative as it can get. Nothing good gets outta it. Next time I'll just keep that big fat mouth of mine shut. Maybe that will earn me a lil' bit of respect and self-worth in a couple of years time... :X Oh boy, it must be almost the end of the road... maybe I should simply give up.

This question had actually crossed my mind lately... "好好深思你目前的生活， 是否以前的兴趣，嗜好，朋友渐渐退场，从你的生活中消失？"

Simple words, simple idea, nicely put together in an inspirational song. Music does bring out the best in everything. :-) Well it isn't a new song, but there is certainly a right moment for it. A reminder to myself, a simple mantra to live by. More importantly, I want to share this with everyone who isn't feeling too well, especially for a friend who had been going through some rough patches lately. I am not good with words. I probably made you feel worse sometimes. We will have to put them all behind and move on every day. Live for what it is really worth living for. Just take things easy okay?

There's a saying that goes ' 男人不坏，女人不爱 ' (women will only like nasty men. Perhaps the essence of this statement applies to other aspects of human relationship (friendship, family, etc.) as well. Does the nice guys have to finish last? The longer you hold on to something, the dearer it gets. The longer you are held, the more numb it gets. Maybe it is relatively more difficult to appreciate the goodness of others. Unless one is able to read the intentions of others' action, one will not be able to understand the magnitude of effort or the deliberate actions to be nice. In that sense, it is nobody's fault if one start taking things for granted. If one has never experienced poverty or hunger, how could one truly treasure their wealth or the food on the table? Of course through education, we can learn to appreciate these tangible things. But it is another matter when it got to do with human relationship. You have to feel it, be treated poorly, before the chemistry takes ...

Some things in life are never urgent. A morning greeting, a short conversation about the weather or dinner, a tender hug, a "how are you". Nevertheless, by attending to them, it makes a difference to somebody's life. It is more so if you know the returns are immediate - happiness for that someone. In fact, I would consider someone who is able to make others happy as lucky as someone who is being loved. Imagine madly pursuing an unrequited love and doing just about everything but still not able to bring happiness to somebody? You are in for a big headache! My wife forwarded me this short article today. After doing a quick search on the Internet, I found that this article was written by Dr Lee Wei Ling for the Sunday Times on 04 Jan 2009. I remember Dr Lee as the neuro-paediatrician who attended to the ailment that changed my life. Tho' probably most people will know her as the MM-Lee's daughter. Many websites have posted her article. In fact you can find it here ,...

I managed to complete Item Two of Resolutions 2009 today, on my first try! I really can't imagine if I had to go thru' it again - the time and money! It is over now. I am feeling relieved and thankful. Thank you for your prayers dear, it helped me alot. While we are in the topic of resolutions... look like I have only completed one outta nine, and a quarter of the year had gone by. Not good not good...

The Monday morning which I had been looking forward to all weekend turned gloomy as the world crashed down on me first thing after I reached office. I am angry with how things work. I am sad with how much trouble I will bring to everyone, yet again. I was also reminded how naive I had been. As I tried to recall the reason for my initial excitement, the negative vibes swarmed me and I slowly succumbed to infinite sadness. I don't feel like smiling, I don't feel like explaining why. I hope everyone will forgive me for greeting them with my less than pleasant face. -deep breaths- Nevertheless, my dear friend's joyous occasion and my dear wife's cooking has rubbed abit of sadness off me. To my dear wife, thanks for your effort. It is heartening to know you share my emotions, and try to be there for me in your way. To my dear friend, I hope I hadn't ruined your day with my troubles and foul mood. It's a pity I can't bask in the fruits of my efforts I had put in f...

Not everyone will believe that I don't have a choice. Maybe I am ignorant, maybe I am weak? I may not be the one who is hurt most, but I am also deeply affected. At the end of the day, we are on the same side. I don't expect everyone to understand, but hope that those who matters do. I know what to do to move on. There's only one way.

Last year, due to my laziness, I skipped new-year-resolutions-making. But somehow things turned out rather okay, despite me being more prone to emotional swings. Perhaps the swings had to do with the becoming of age - near-mid life or the when-you-are-almost-thirty-you-get-moody-syndrome ? Anyway, I guess its only appropriate that I do a quick review of 2008, before making some resolutions for 2009. Shall we start with the nice stuffs? Say achievements? -shy grin- Probably in order of ascending importance: 5. Performing not bad at work. - From the July appraisal and reward, I would say my hard work in 07/08 had been recognised. Thanks to the opportunities given by my superiors, and support from my friends and colleagues, which made it possible. It was a welcomed boost for my wedding saving plan and vacations. 4. Taking Driving Lessons. - After years of procrastination, with a proper job and getting the part-time studies outta the way, I finally had the time and money to take drivin...

I want to pen down my thoughts and feelings before the memories and excitement from the trip fade away. First question, " Why the next big trip? ". Initially, I wanted to plan for a trip with my bestest-best-of-friend . And what a better combination than together with my best friend , and bestest-best-of-friend's best friend ? (Oh this is quite a mouth full!!). Besides, a quartet seemed like the most ideal number for traveling (such as hiring a cab and sharing rooms). Next, to answer a common question, ' Why Turkey? '. To do that, we have to first understand the process in which we derived with this destination. Initially, we wanted to visit Greece, with a stopover at Istanbul. Unfortunately, winter wasn't exactly the best time to visit Greece. Most of the hotels and shops on the Greek Islands are closed in winter. The ferries are also less frequent during these months. On the other hand, Turkey is still a nice place to visit in winter. We asked ourselves, ...

One's willingness to give, does not ensure the other's willingness to accept. Can hardly keep that frown away. Can hardly contain that aching heart.

I woke up an hour earlier today. I would leave an hour earlier for lesson, so I wanted to get to work an hour earlier as well. At 5.30 am, the air was fresh. It was dark and cool. My mind was blank but very much awake. I regained some of the inner peace which I had during the couple of days when I was on MC. It was some sort of calming feeling. I could take my time in everything and nothing would agitate me. Then, the early morning evoked some memories. These were memories of days when I was awake by 5.30 am. There was the BMT days at Nee Soon Camp. At this time of the day, I would be having my water parade and then marching to training shed near the cook house to wait for breakfast. There was the secondary school days. I would be one of the first few in school, to finish homework from the day before. :-P Sometimes the gates were not opened yet and I had to scale the low walls. As the train emerged from the tunnels at Redhill MRT station, the dark morning skies had turned to baby blue....