Then and Now.

Today, I truly felt the blues of the Monday morning. Not that I dreaded going to work or couldn't wake up. In fact I was wide awake at 5++, tossing around on bed. Perhaps my mind is programmed to sleep for 6 hours daily, so since I slept before 12 last night, I woke up earlier. The morning started out with strong winds. Fallen leaves swept across the road. The sky was grey. A hurricane, or something of that scale, was coming.

The morning adrenaline left me quickly after I reached the office. I continued to doze off for the rest of the time. It felt as if I stayed awake for the night. My brain couldn't really think either. Nothing seemed to be working. The frustration of time running out and making no progress... It was only at 4++ when I felt really awake after a cup of coffee. The caffeine worked like magic.

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries ,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at
(moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick,
that's driven into
frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.

(Radiohead - Fitter,Happier)

I do miss school. I always enjoyed school. I am not lying. Tho' the problems I faced in my FYP stressed me up, I dreaded school the least bit. I enjoyed waking up at 7.45am for the 8.30am morning lessons. I enjoyed breakfast with my good friends at 9.30am everyday. I looked forward to the lectures, the tutorials, the labs. I enjoyed mugging in the library till late nights. I enjoyed my eca. Every single activity I joined, there was something to learn, something to appreciate, something to contribute. The friends I made, I would never have, without joining those activities. I enjoyed hall life - that is, the non hall activities part. I enjoyed the late night suppers to LAI LAI Coffeeshop or Boon Lay Market. Not to mention the fantastic BakChorMee and Nasi Lemak. I enjoyed talking rot and playing cards with my roomie and toiletmates (every single one of them). I enjoyed watching the Romance of Three Kingdoms with them on Thurs and Fri nights. I enjoyed playing bball in the dark with them too. Tho' I always looked forward to graduation, the money that comes with working life, it is true that, ntu days were some of the best times of my life, till now. It seems cliche to say this, but, please enjoy it while you can.