There's a saying that goes '男人不坏，女人不爱' (women will only like nasty men. Perhaps the essence of this statement applies to other aspects of human relationship (friendship, family, etc.) as well. Does the nice guys have to finish last?
The longer you hold on to something, the dearer it gets. The longer you are held, the more numb it gets.
Maybe it is relatively more difficult to appreciate the goodness of others. Unless one is able to read the intentions of others' action, one will not be able to understand the magnitude of effort or the deliberate actions to be nice. In that sense, it is nobody's fault if one start taking things for granted. If one has never experienced poverty or hunger, how could one truly treasure their wealth or the food on the table?
Of course through education, we can learn to appreciate these tangible things. But it is another matter when it got to do with human relationship. You have to feel it, be treated poorly, before the chemistry takes place in your heart, and you realise what is good for you.
On the other hand, there are those who tirelessly do good for those who can't appreciate, eg. what mums will do for their children.
May it be blood or fate that ties the lives of people together, this is a special bond.
Thus, I think you should not give up on being nice to people you care for but doesn't appreciate you. If you give unconditionally, you will enjoy happiness. Unfortunately, this is easier to be said than done.
And for those receiving, think beyond what you receive. Think of the impact to you when those who tirelessly give, disappear from your life tomorrow. That is the value of them to you. In my opinion, understanding that is much more important. The appreciation will follow.
Why am I saying all these? Crap, I had always been emo (yes, long before kids nowadays start using this term, along with other words like 'lame'), saying what I 'feel'. So please don't take it to heart.
The longer you hold on to something, the dearer it gets. The longer you are held, the more numb it gets.
Maybe it is relatively more difficult to appreciate the goodness of others. Unless one is able to read the intentions of others' action, one will not be able to understand the magnitude of effort or the deliberate actions to be nice. In that sense, it is nobody's fault if one start taking things for granted. If one has never experienced poverty or hunger, how could one truly treasure their wealth or the food on the table?
Of course through education, we can learn to appreciate these tangible things. But it is another matter when it got to do with human relationship. You have to feel it, be treated poorly, before the chemistry takes place in your heart, and you realise what is good for you.
On the other hand, there are those who tirelessly do good for those who can't appreciate, eg. what mums will do for their children.
May it be blood or fate that ties the lives of people together, this is a special bond.
Thus, I think you should not give up on being nice to people you care for but doesn't appreciate you. If you give unconditionally, you will enjoy happiness. Unfortunately, this is easier to be said than done.
And for those receiving, think beyond what you receive. Think of the impact to you when those who tirelessly give, disappear from your life tomorrow. That is the value of them to you. In my opinion, understanding that is much more important. The appreciation will follow.
Why am I saying all these? Crap, I had always been emo (yes, long before kids nowadays start using this term, along with other words like 'lame'), saying what I 'feel'. So please don't take it to heart.
Comments
This is so true...even though sometimes u just tell urself that u shld give unconditionally because this is what you want to, you cannot help it but want 'smth' in return...it may just be a simple thanks you...
its really harder said than done...=p
-sunshine
Emo post it might be, but your entry brings out the reality of life and relationships. To give unconditionally is to enjoy happiness? Even the nicest guy would one day feel the emptiness for his unrequited givings.
So yes (and sadly), its true. '男人不坏，女人不爱','The nice guys would have to finish last.'
There's nothing wrong with having expectations, its only human. Just don't make the mistake of saying it out bah. :p It become you "asking for something", and what you have ever done will seem to be worthless to the person. Then you may regret. The person will never ever appreciate what you do.