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Mind Boogling Emotions.

Apparently being a year older doesn't increase one's maturity. On the other hand, my EQ seems to be over the hill, as well.

Once again, I wallowed in self-pity and failed to empathise with others. It is not so difficult to find someone worse off than you. There's no need to look far, no need to look to the extreme, just look at those around you.

I was gently reminded that, "At least you are home sweet home". There are those who are still working their asses off in the office, while I sit here comfortably blogging away at home. I guess I should consider myself lucky in this aspect.

Life, work, there are plenty of ups and downs. So are emotions. I also have my days when I am down in the trenches, tho' those days are significantly lesser than some. I guess with more time, the mind wonders more. Thus, more than often I find myself in the emotional trenches instead. And when you are down there, frankly it is also quite a bit of struggle. After all, emotions ain't logical (at least that's the common saying). So how can you even expect anyone to understand how you feel? What's worse is that emotions are often expressed in words which carry different meanings to different people. sAd, sad, SAD, saD, Sad and SAD means differently to everyone. Not to mention how careless and imprecise we can be with words. What are you sad about? Are you just a little bothered? Are you devastated? Or are you "sad"?

Sometimes, it is so much pain and shame, not to be able to share your problems and unhappiness, solutions and joy, with those you care so much for. And this sharing, may also be thought of as wallowing in self-pity? I am most willing to share more of your work if there are people who are willing to share my emotions.

I think I do agree, it is good to keep one busy, and join the ranks of the work trenches. Less time for mind to wonder, more time to accomplish meaningful tasks. Perhaps to some it may be the lesser of the two evils.

In the meantime, I can't help to wallow in my self-pity again, seeking the attention of the whole world in front of me. Shoot first, think later, and soon they will all fail to not ignore me. I never fail to spot the imperfection in this world to make myself upset. Perhaps that is my biggest weakness, my big mouth, the result of the inbuilt gene to strive for the better bah... but trust me, I always mean something well... trust me...

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